The last week in February is a tough week. My sister tells me this week and next are when suicides are at their highest. In January and February depression exists but the lack of motivation to get out of bed supercede any a will to take action. As the days get longer and sunnier we all feel our energy come alive. We’re ready to get outside and live life again but alas the days are still very cold resulting in who have been fantasizing their demise to take action.
I am an optimistic, idealistic, motivated person. Procrastination has never been a characteristic I’ve had to battle. I believe there are those who can not relax till their to do list is done and those who can not get to their to do list until they have relaxed. I am the former, except for this past week. Fresh off a trip from El Salvador, still tan and tone, I’ve spent the past few weeks doing lots of yoga and getting used to being in an office of 1 again, A.K.A working from home… ALONE. I have no reason to feel gloomy. I’ll be traveling to Uganda in 2 weeks which will make March, my least favorite month, fly by. With this list I should be ecstatic, on top of the world, and relishing in my new, curated lifestyle but my feelings do not match. I feel unaccomplished, restless, and a bit jealous of those around me who seem happy, well adjusted, and content.
Knowing these feelings will pass and I am simply a victim of the end of winter blues what am I to do? My solution… dig into depression, submit to melancholy, and embrace the wet blank I am. Here is my list of how I achieve this…
- Write about it. Identify your emotions, give it a name, an alter ego, and realize this is part of you, complicated messy you, and that part of you is beautiful too.
- Listen to sad music and cry. Cry because this is one way you get the sad out of you. I like to listen to Nina Simone, make loud exhaling noises, and through myself on my bed.
- Hide in your room. Down the rabbit hole you go and the only way to get out is to go through it. Don’t make yourself go to the bar, or to that event to meet new people. Take a few days for yourself to be alone, those events will be waiting for you when you’re ready.
- Eat your comfort food. Skipping out on your diet for 1 or even 2 weeks will not matter in the long run. Denying yourself that craving will result in a larger more intense craving later on. Its better to have 1 donut now and not a box of donuts 1 week from now.
- Give yourself permission to really feel your emotions. Get to the bottom of it. Acknowledge these are emotions that all people feel and feeling deep emotions is good. We’ve built up our walls, disconnecting not only our loved ones from our feels but so often we can’t even identify our own feelings.
Having periods like this in our lives do not make us weak or insecure people. It makes us appreciate the goods times, the blah times, and maybe some day you’ll even appreciate the depressing weeks like these.